Searching for "it hurts"

41 Results For 'it hurts'

A

May 06, 2012 @ (california)

I started dating later in life, so he was my first--and this is my first break up.

We moved in together less than 6 months after our first date. We stayed together for a little under 2 years, but things started getting rocky half way through. I was feeling unsatisfied. I wanted it to work, and i would try communicating to him what I wanted. But for some reason we just weren't on the same page. By the end both of us were feeling worn out and unloved.

I was the one who initiated the idea of splitting. Maybe, immaturely on my part, I was thinking that it would spark something and we'd think, "no, I don't want to lose this person", and we'd try some other way to reach each other. But by then we didn't even know how to have that dialogue. It took me a couple of months to actually move out, but after some emotional drama, in the end he was the one wanting me to leave.

It's been about a month now and I can't stop feeling as though we failed, as though something died. And instead of just leaving it be and moving on, I keep feeling like we could have done so much better. I feel like the situation has brought me perspective, and a new sense of awareness of what it really means to be in a relationship with someone. But apparently it's too late. He says he's too tired, that he needs time to himself.

I could understand taking some time to ground ourselves, so reassess the situation. But in my mind I'm daydreaming about us connecting again like we did in the beginning, with excitement and a sense of adventure. In my mind, the second time around would be more wise, more mature. We'd have a better sense of how to approach it.

But he doesn't even want to entertain the idea, I guess. Embarrassingly, he doesn't even want to take my calls. I keep wanting things from him that he doesn't want to give. It hurts me, and on top of that I feel like such an idiot for trying still.

But I don't know how to let go, you know? I don't know how to not remember all the things about him and our past relationship without missing him.

I guess I'm not even sure if it's him I want. Maybe I am just craving a fulfilling relationship in general, and I keep trying to make him fit into that when he's obviously not the one for me.

It's still so hard to not get all emotional. I can go a couple of weeks without contacting him, but then it's like I can't stand it anymore and I just want to hear his voice. ]:

Pathetic, I know.

Anonymous

November 23, 2011 @ (home)

Tags: example1

I guess i just don't know what to say. I wish we'd never broken up, but I know it's what he wanted to do for awhile now. I was a fool for having been in denial for such a long time, and for believing that he feels as much as I feel for him. It's already been a month ever since our break up, but I still feel as broken as if it was just yesterday. I can remember begging him to not break up with me, but only to have him get angry and push me away. It hurts to think back and face the truth that all the while he was with me, it was just pretense. He really can't even stand the sight of me. He stopped texting me altogether after we broke up. I feel sick and tired; sick of relationships and tired of meeting new people. I absolutely hate the fact that he's made me feel like everything was my fault. I hate that he puts me through so much misery while we were together. He isn't the guy I once knew him to be, so I guess i'll let time do it's job and bury all this.

Eva

March 10, 2011 @ (Kenya)

Tags: Fresh experience 1

He didn't even tell me why it was over.We hang out in the evening at his work place(he worked at his cousin's barber shop)and I gave him a love card I had bought and written for him.He then disappeared for days and his friends couldn't tell me where he'd gone. I called him 3 days later and he spoke to me casually, told me he'd travelled out of town. He'd return the next week. I didn't call him or go to look for him where he worked; thought he'd at least call me.When I decided to call him another three days later, it was the usual casual tone, then he pretended he couldn't hear me. I was so hurt, I hung up and sent him a break up text,asked him if I 'd done sth. wrong or if he heard sth. about me.Told him I didn't deserve the harsh treatment and how I had always felt he held back his full affection from me(this was true) blah blah blah. Then I asked him to confirm our break up.BUT HE DIDN'T EVEN RESPOND.Thank God I never slept with him, but I gave him my sinceremost care.It hurts that he couldn't even break up with me openly- treated me like trash.I just want to scream in his face or sth! I desire to have his reaction, to have him show me some emotion at least!But I believe we'll have a second seating:a second stage , different terms and the tables will turn.What goes around comes around , you know ,'malipo ni hapa duniani' - 'your rewards/what you deserve will meet you right here in this world/lifetime', says the swahili saying. For now I'm Just relieved to have shared this problem. It's halved.

Katt

December 29, 2010 @ (413)

Tags: 1, 2

Ok, I have been thru hell n back...I met my 1st love @ 15 when I was a freshman in HS n he was a junior. We dated that summer and my sophomore yr I get prego the day I lost my virginity...later I found out he cheated on me w/ his ex n she was prego, exactly 1 mth a head of me...after a paternity test the girl named after him isnt his n we eneded up getting married when I was 19 n him 21...to make a veryyyy long story short, i grew insecure. I turned psycho thinking he was always lying n cheating becuz i couldn't believe him...after being on n off for 11 yrs n 2 kids later, i ended it...the ONLY reason y i stayed as long as I did was for my kids...becuz although he was a liar n not cold, he was n still is an amazing father n great provider! on paper we had it all, beautiful house, cars, clothes, n handsome kids, but i was living a lie for my kids n realized i was doing more harm than good by staying...so i ended it...he was devastated (especially because the last few yrs he was doing sooo good!!) but my heart wasnt in it anymore...n it hurts to be cheated on, i was so sad n heartbroken, especially being 16 n pregnant...but reading these stories has made me realize how mature i was through out the whole thing...i finished school, graduated w/ honors, worked...i'm on here wanting to read real stories of break ups n it seems that there's just a shit load of little kids on here who have no self respect for themselves! yes i went back to a cheater but that was after mths of no communication n having him prove himself...on here these girls get dumped, then the next day sleeping w/ the dude n wonders y they got dumped again!! Then saying things like "should i keep trying?" or "we're friends w/ benefits still" like how ridiculous do u sound!!! u sound pathetic n then the stories of the girl getting dumped n still sleeping w/ dude KNOWING he doesnt want to be w her n getting pregnant??? WTF!!! someone commented saying it sounds like she did it on purpose n i agree!! girls these days don't respect themselves nor value themselves! they revolve their worlds around douches instead of focusing on school n their futures. its just sooo sad!!! what is happening with these younger generations!!?? I am blessed to have such a wonderful, strong, supportive family who has taught me morals and taught me that i dont need a man to make me happy!! where are these kids parents??? Sorry, had to vent!!

Aly

December 13, 2010 @ (arkansas)

Tags: work

well me and my boyfriend were together about a year and two months. we had talked all summer about going out and when we finally did we hit it off great. i was 17 when we started and he was 18 i know were young. we were together all the time and he started to tell me how much he loved me and cared about me everyday and we became eachotthers first love, and other things if know what i mean. we even went outta of state with eachother to meet the rest of our families. soon into the relationship he asked me to marry him even though i know we're young i felt and seen other young couples make it and grow old together so i said yes. it took me a while to see if i truly loved him or was attached but i ignored it. we then started to fight alot throughout our relationship but always made up and had really good moments. he wasnt just my boyfriend he was like my bestfriend i could tell him anything he was even there for me in my hardtimes. one day i realized if we wanted to get married we had to do something with our life and not just be supported by love so i suggested for me to go to the army which i wanted to do before him and he agreed happily and we were then going to get married after boot camp. as the time got closer for me to leave, his family and friends started to tell him i was gonna end up finding someone else in there but i gave him my word. The time got closer for me to leave and we started to get distant and hung out less and less and i started to stress till one day we got into a huge fight where it got physical just a shove nothing big and i told him i dont think i can do this anymore im tired of the fighting but he told me he still loved me and wanted to be with me so we made up of course and silly me i stayed, funny how around this time hes been hanging out with one of his guys friends and he brought a female over. a week goes by and he starts to act strange more distant, but i ignored and i realized that i do love him and dont wanna lose him. he then stops talking to me for week in a half and i receive a phone call that we should date other ppl because he found someone else and they liked eachother after such a short period of time. i asked him if he loved me and he said yes but we needed to be seperated or take a break, so then it hit me and i asked him that he was basically saying he loved me but wasnt in love with me no more and he said yes, i felt crushed i felt like everything we been through was just a lie. he did this to me a couple weeks before i ship out. his excuse is he didn't want to cheat on me while i was gone, he wasnt saying that months before this he kept telling me i better not leave him. so eventhough im very hurt i know i need to move on, but his friend then asks me if i ever cheated on my ex after this whole breakup, (definetly not, and none of his business) his mother then calls me and tells me that he says does miss me and if he should just let me go since im leaving...HE ALREADY LET ME GOO!! he also has to correct himself because he still accidently says my name. after all this im very confused and hurt and hopes karma comes. i do still wanna believe he still loves but since he did all this it hurts, because i never thought he would do something so low, after how much he would tell me how much he loved me and how could he get involved in another relationship so fast.

Anynomous

November 21, 2010 @ (great britain)

Tags: any advice...

Ihave dated someone for 9 months. He proposed me and even asked my family for permission to get married...
Then it wasnt going anywhere, I wanted to talk about the future, he didnt, was always too tired or any other excuses... Then things became very violent, from his side and mine. We both have bad temper, but we both got worse. I asked him to go and talk to someone, somewhere, so we could sort ourselves out. I do love him... but then he's got a depression, I think it's a lot worse than he wants to admit... and he promised me he was gonna stop smoking marihuana, which turns him into a different person (in a bad way) and makes him very angry and irritable and I think has to do with his depression too... so, he smoked again, inspite of the fact he's on anti-depresants and we argued because of that and his mood swings, his behaviour and all that...... he kicked me out the house, i cried my eyes out. I am in a foreign country with no friends or relatives, so you figure out the rest of the story. I am destroyed, confused, crushed, feeling guilty, lonely and cold. Thinking, I could have done better than getting angry... but then we've been together for 9 months and always argued about his smoking habit..... relations are problematic enough to be adding a drug addition weight on top of all... I even bought tickets to leave the country for Christmas with him.......he doesnt realise how much smoking his thing makes us argue and puts pressure on us....... then he thinks I am yelling because I am a bitch with no other reason but nagging; and I cant put up with the fact that it's always his house and he can kick me out of it when he feels like it; that i always gotta give in if I want things to go smooth, otherwise, we argue....
I wish I had never met him, so I wouldnt be in this position now. I'm 30 and feel terribly sad and lonely, with no friends, family or place to go. I can't talk to anyone, cuz I dont have friends in here really, so I am writing this here, so I can get it out of my chest... I love him so much but I dont even think he realises how much it takes for someone to have the courage to come after the one you love in a foreign land... next time, I'll be more selfish and think more about me...
I feel left alone, sad, disappointed, heartbroken!!!!!!!!!! I thought he was the 1 and I adore him. It just that I dont know what else to do!!!! It's like a battle I cant never win and if he doesnt want to help himself and us, then there's no point in me trying to get this right... but it hurts so much!!! I was gonna spend the rest of my life with him!!! I even thought I could jump out of a building and end this!!!! .... I am just so sad...
Any advice???

Ashley B-Brown

November 07, 2010 @ (atlanta)

Tags: tragedy

So there was this guy that I met at 15 when I moved to my new school. He was 16 and I remember when we first met, I felt electricity and I couldn't take my eyes off him...how cheesy is that? Ever since then we've never been able to completely be away from each other and for a while he was all I had. We've never been officially a couple due to a few problems. One, we fight like cats and dogs. In the beginning I held back and whenever he would say hurtful things I would try to avoid him but then he would just get mad and say that I was running away. That didn't last because eventually I got tired of taking his shit, and that's when the fights really started picking up. He lies, he tries to make things seem as if they're my fault, and frankly he is the biggest asshole I've ever met.

Here's where it gets even crazier we would stop talking for a month after the fights and then he would come back and we would start it up all over again. As we got older though, there were a few things that were brought to my attention. Any time I made a new friend at school, if he knew them, he would tell me not to be friends with them. Turns out, he has tried to sabotage 90% of the friendships I made, as if he was trying to keep me isolated. If I had even thought about dating another guy, he would get pissed but if he dated someone else then I'm bitter. I even remember on one of his drunken nights, he called me and told me that as much as he hated me, he wanted to be with me.

I knew that a lot of our pent up frustration was partially due to the fact that we didn't have sex. So, in the year that I turned 18 we had sex. It was pretty amazing and it actually helped. But of course, it didn't last..Skipping on threw, I went to college and he doesn't go to college so we stopped speaking b/c of another girl and when she broke up with him, he came to me. Btw that's what he does, whenever a girl hurts him, he finds me. So he started talking to me more, and he gained my trust again and when I went home for spring break we met on a car port surrounded by buildings, beautiful and romantic lol. And summer came around and we were having frustration fussing so we had sex. That's when everything became functional, until he got worried that I was pregnant. We don't use condoms and I'm not on the pill, DUMB. Thank god, I wasn't pregnant and so I went back to school. We kept in touch regularly until october and I hadn't heard from him until this morning. We had a small fight and he said that he misses me but I need to grow up and that we could talk when I learn how! Rude much, so I called him a dumb unnecessary bitch and blocked him. I'm not dumb, I go home in two weeks, so he's trying to fix his shit before i come home. So I know he'll contact me. that's pretty much why I blocked him so he'll have no choice but to text or call me. In the beginning this chaos was fun, but now that I'm older I just want stability. This was the first real fight we've had in a year so things have been getting better. But I just can't get passed that he hasn't even tried to talk to me for more than a month. I love him so much it hurts. I've loved him even before he took my virginity. He truly is the man I want to be with for the rest of my life. But people in hell want ice water. He can't let me go, and I can't let him go either. He has a few issues. He's had a pretty rough life, and I'm the only girl who has stayed and that scares him. Guys I've spoked to about this have told me, that I'm the one who could truly destroy him. He himself has told me that I have more power over him than I realize. Even when we have sex, it's not mindless fucking, it's quite emotional and he's the one that wants to be gentle with me while I want to get a little wild lol. He wanted me to stay in atlanta for school, and frankly I think that's what I should have done. There is another guy and there is another girl but unfortunately they're now part of a list of people that are for the purpose of taking our minds off of the other. They've been caught up in the tragedy of me and dylan. I just hope we learn to really love each other before we destroy each other.

Martha

October 17, 2010 @ (California)

Tags: jealousy, ossessive, cheating, moving on, fake

I dated my ex for 13 months and it's been 2 months since the breakup, but I still feel lke crying every now and then. He told me that if I ever broke up w/ him he'd never date,marry, or have kids with anyone else because he'd love me forever and would nver break up with me. What bullshit. I broke it off, and it seems like it's taking a toll on me and not so much on him.Just a few minutes ago I accidently went to my friend's page, who's also his friend because of me, and saw a post by him and,consequently, his new profile pic.It's indeed pathetic that he's probably trying to make me jealous by posting some pic of him and a girl,but it was enough to make me feel even worse. How do I move on?He told me he's started smoking,so I kno it was hard for him too, but i think it's even harder for me because he always lied to me and probably cheated on me, who knows. He gave out his number to his girl-friend on facebook and I found this out b/c I had his account info, but I thought he'd have the decency to tell me instead of having me find out like that.I wouldn't've been mad at him for that if he hadn't lied and said he didn't wanna talk to any girls but me. Not to mention he admit he took me for granted the first 10 months of the relationship, chose his friends and work over me, etc. I wanna unlove him so bad and meet someone better and worthy of my love.It hurts me because he was my first love and the first person I lost my v to, and I've heard that you can never get over your first love. I hope that's not true.My best friend said she always hated him and sensed his fakeness from the start,and now I regret dating him and losing it to him. I may have cheated on him twice, but I never felt so guilty because he treated me so bad. He started trying to control how I dress and what I do.He was so jealous and possessive,but deep down I knew he was just using me for sex and cus he wanted to have his cake and eat it too. It's just so hard to move on after knowing his family and reminscing about all the good times, any advice for me?

Ashes

August 11, 2010 @ (Canada)

Tags: sad, depressing

My boyfriend (now ex) started dating in my first year of highschool. It was one of those highschool relationships that you see on the movies, and who every teenage girl hopes to have. We were together all through out highschool. He was so in love with me. Honestly, Im pretty sure I could of gotten away with anything and he would always come back to me. A lot of it had to do with the fact that we were eachothers first time and lust/love was being thrown around together. But at the end of the day we really did love eachother and we had something that some people will never ever experience. We were best friends. We knew every single thing about eachother. It was a relationship where I could take a crap infront of him and that wasnt a problem at all! haha! at one point he even moved away for half a year and still we some how made it work. But then, oh i forgot to mention he is a year older than me! anyways, he started university and I was in my last year of highschool. Thats when everything changed. We had always had our problems. his was honesty issues, mine where anger issues. But once he moved on, it was like we were completley different people! I know... if any of you are reading this you are probably thinking my story is pretty boring. he never cheated on me with my sister, or i never left him at the alter. We were just two regular people who were at one moment so in love... to not even knowing who eachother were. I guess im writing this because im so depressed and bitter with the reality of relationships and life in General. We ended up breaking up because our lives and our relationships became so routine. We new that we loved eachother but we were stuck making time to see eachother to make love with one another, to make sure we set enough time to have a phone conversation once a day, made sure we sent eachother at least 10 txts a day to make sure our days were going alright. It was horrible and I was unhappy, and because I was unhappy we fought... all the time. So those "dates" turned into a boxing ring. So eventually I had to end it. that was about around last christmas. I didnt blame him, nor did I blame myself. I blamed our situation. He was in Univserity and leading a completley different life than me, I was enjoying my last year of highschool. But since we broke up, I have had a few flings, slepted with a random, tried to pretend that those guys could at some point mean something to me, but at the end of the day, it was always him, and I feel as if it will ALWAYS be him. But again, it hurts me so much to see how things change... it wasnt supposed to turn out this way. I am now moving to Europe in a few weeks for a year, he has a new girlfriend( who is horrible) and we went from being so happy and to not being able imagine our selves without eachother, to leading completley different lives without eachother in them. Am I still in love with him- Yes. most definatley... if he magicaly asked me to be with him again would i say yes-No. Definatly not. I wish i could of met him in 5 years.. thats what i always told him. I wish we met in a different life where we could be with eachother and love eachother completley without having such barriers set up between us, masking the love we had for eachother. I cry at night, i miss him every night. I dont want to leave without him touching me, kissing me, looking me in te eyes one last time. But i know thats not possible. i want him to be able to move on, all i want is for him to be happy. He deserves it.

Ben

July 19, 2010 @ (pueblo)

Tags: the dumbest fucking bitch

So.... here goes I dated my ex for four years and she considers it five things were good the first 3 years untill I decide to tell her that I cheated on her in the begining but things were all wrong when we got together I just left a horrid rfelationship and needed time to move on so dumbass me decides to give it a try. So many things happened the last three years I can't explain cause it hurts just to even open up but a lot of stupid completely ingorant things happened with us I'm glad to have finished things off the only real tradgety is we have a child who is one and a half and can't see her much cause the damn bitch chooses to harass me for instance I work seven days a week by chioce cause I really need the money so I'm out of town on the job and the bitch calls me telling me what a piece of shit and all the names from the emergancy room only stating my daughters in there but won't say why this continues for two days none stop calling me this calling me that but still nots wrong with my one year old daughter so the last call I get is she is being transported due to trauma injuries now I leave my job without saying I get there and she is there with a guy she just started seeing and is imoblized in front of him (bet he didn't know she was harassing) I go see the dr. Says she's fine and is going home in a couple hours. Now what kind of cunt of a mom tells u that your a piece of shit and not what's wrong with your daughter would u go to the emergancy room with a raging cunt cussing u out instead of saying your daughter is hurt and needs u? wtf